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11 focus areas to create self care ...

create selfcare - selfloveselfcaresystem

Care about you and give yourself what you need.

When overwhelm kicks in it can be hard to self care. This week I have been experiencing the chaos that surrounds us when we are running on empty, or dealing with situations that take us completely out of our comfort zone. Now we all experience situations in our life that are new. Or situations that we create, where we stop giving ourselves the time to self care.

This could be working long hours, over doing it and burning the midnight oil, partying hard, not eating well, lacking exercise.

Self care is something different to inner love and self love and we all need a good dose of it everyday. Although love and self care are linked they are not the same thing. I used to think that they were, once upon a while ago! When we practice both as often as we can, we can create a more harmonious life.

The other problem a lot of us face is working solidly 5 days a week and then jamming in what we believe is self care into 2 days each week. If we have tasks to do this diminishes and then we are completely and utterly devoid of this basic need that replenishes us.

The truth is when we are just, most of us won’t be giving either of these things that much thought. Why would we, we are living our life the best way we can. For most of us self care is something that we think of last, when things have got bad and we require it the most.

It normally takes something to happen before any of us bother. However once we experience dis-connect in our lives, be this from illness, stress, divorce, separation, things falling apart we usually get re-directed towards working on ourselves because there really is no other way to go.

Okay so where love is the healing of our inner being, our feelings, our reactions and the way that we talk to ourselves. Self care deals with our health, our bodies and our connection to what it is telling us. Such as, if we are run down or thirsty etc. When we are nurturing ourselves we are more able to tap into self care and work on the problems that stop us from living healthy and fulfilling lives.

Why bother to self care

Without it you will find that you burn out easier and that you are less and less able to deal with difficult situations.

What self care can do for you…

Just as our mind talks to us incessantly so does our body, aches, pains, irritation etc within the body are messages for us to look after ourselves. Yet, how many of us can really say, that we actually do this? We might do some of it, however we are often falling short of the amount of attention that our bodies really want.

I am sure that this is not anything that you don’t know, however if you are like me and most of the people that I know and love, then actually making time for these areas sometimes just gets left at the wayside. Most of us are just to busy with the busyness of life.

It is really is worth getting it right though. Even if you just do some of it, you will reap rewards.

Self-Care areas & what we can do

Some of the core areas that we can work on to create self care…

  • Sleeping well – going to bed when we feel tired.

If you suffer from sleep problems check out:

  • Eating well and nurturing our bodies – really put time into food preparation and get yourself the food that will nurture and heal your body. This really does mean creating space and time so that you are not eating junk food, crisps and snacks all the time (be careful to avoid using these as a treat). There is nothing wrong with having some food like this, some of the time, however there needs to be a balance. When we do not balance our food intake, our bodies pay for it. If you want to change your diet, you could start small. For example you might just want to swap an unhealthy food choice with a healthier one.

  • How is your home – if it’s a mess or not comfortable for you take some time to create a room if nothing else that is your sanctuary? This is ultimate self care as your home reflects you, when it is messy this will affect your psyche. Also everyone in the house deserves a room that they love.

  • Look after your body – so regular appointments at the dentist, health checks when you can. When we nurture and look after our bodies we are more able to create healthy lives.

  • Clothes – choose fabrics that you like, colours that you love, and clothes that reflect you. Wear clothes that make you feel contented – whatever works for you, create this – so if you love comfort create comfort, or if you want to look stunning, or fabulous create this.

  • Have baths that soothe and go to spa’s if you really want to go all out.

  • Manage your time and check your own scheduling – manage your own scheduling so that you are not overworked. Plus you will love the new time that you create.

  • Defend your leisure time – we all need it and it is the ultimate in self care – reading, writing, playing a game give yourself the time to find and make space for it. Block this time in your calendar, it is your time so enjoy it. Sometimes I write in my diary - 'you have nothing to do today.' It forces me to take time out for myself and do something non- work related.

  • Be careful of the interminable to do list and working more hours than you have to give. If this is expected ask yourself if you love what you do and it you do not, it might be time to look at something different.

  • Remember that self care does not mean spending all your money on junk. – Did you know that not managing your money effectively is poor self care. If you are struggling get this one tackled.

  • Being silly – who told you that being a grown up meant not having fun and being silly!! Be silly have fun, throw the towel at a busy day, kick back and throw yourself off the top swimming pool board, (if that's your thing) whatever floats your boat really. Fun is the ultimate in self care because it creates laughter, laughter creates love and love is at the core of self care.

Self care needs to be part of our daily life. We can then have activities that are weekly, monthly and yearly. When we do this, it helps us to be far more productive :) ...

Now I know that lots of people may think that these things fall under self love, however based on the system that I use these are self care rituals and not self love. Self love is about your internal thought processes it is about how you react to people and how it affects you. When you deal with this stuff you are learning self love.

Because we are so removed from what self love is we tend to believe that self care is self love and it is not? My other half went and bought himself a load of nice things and then he said, 'silly really as it didn’t make me feel any better.'

Although self care is important it can not and will not replace the benefit of inner healing. Inner healing works with self care, and when you master both of these states you will find that you are less and less bothered by the pain body that you previously gave into.

Of course self care will help and even if we just start out with this, we will notice that it will help us to create deeper change. I always say small doable steps. This will create momentum and you will see and feel the results. When I was working in an office I replaced my chocolate bar with a bowl of fruit - now I always have fruit as opposed to the chocolate bar.

To be fair the whole idea of self care seems fluffy and woo woo. However, we are all entitled to have space in our lives. The truth is that creating self care is strength and therefore, to my mind there is nothing woo woo about it. There is so much inner power in caring about the self and creating inner love and it will help us to create inner and outer resilience.

People often do not bother with self care sometimes, because we are trained in believing the harder we work and the more that we do the more that we will have. Mind you, to my mind, the more you do and the more you have, the more likely you are to hit burnout, which means that caring for self is essential to our wellbeing. It will also help to alleviate any stress that our body absorbs.

If you suffer with stress check out:

Sometimes taking time out for self – eating well, exercising can seem as if you are taking a holiday and not getting on with what you are supposed to be doing. This could require a change in the way that we look at things. Be gentle if this is the case for you, as changing a belief can take time.

Also we all need to be careful that we do not use food as a reward under any circumstances or going to the bathroom – this is such a bad habit that a lot of us have, we wait and wait and wait. However the best thing for the body, is for you to go as soon as you know that you need to. Whatever you’re doing it can wait.

Oh and when we're feeling angry we can stop whatever we are doing and take a few moments chill time. It will help to re-frame what is happening.

You know when you are upset and everything seems miserable. Step away from everyone and create self care and space for yourself. Laugh, be silly and remember that this will pass. You will survive and you will be stronger.

You are totally worth it.

Love to you all

Love Me xxxxX

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