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Accepting that life will always have it's up's and down's ... (blog quickie)

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'We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for this all to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.'

Pema Chodron - When things fall apart: Heart Advice for Hard Times

It's a tough one, we get told that you'll be happy one day, but is there such a thing as happy? Isn't happy just an emotion, which means that we can't always be happy. It's not possible to stay in one emotion all the time.

Life is more like Pema Chodron's quote, there is no everlasting happiness, things just come together and then apart. It's the ebb and flow of life and we are all subject to the tides of this.

The quote is realistic, it creates a framework in which we can be with the feelings that we are having in our life.

The fact is that life is going to have ups and downs and our pursuit of constant happiness or calm is not doable...

In fact there is the possibility that our need to constantly be in the right frame of mind could be what is making it tricky for us when we experience other emotions.

How can we possibly deal with rage or anger if we feel that it is at state we should never get in? Well we won't will we, because we will be too afraid of what it means. We need to find safe outlets to express negative emotions because If we suppress them, they will become even tougher for us.

I love the quote because it reminds us that perfection is unattainable and that life will have it's tests as well as it's joy. There will be tough decisions and we'll face emotions that are difficult. All of this is part of who we are. Of course the other side of the coin will be the good times, when we laugh and hug and feel as we are floating on clouds with rainbows above us.

Embrace that you can't control everything in life and that there is no shame in being with your emotions (so long as you are not hurting others, or yourself.)

Look at children, they bounce back so quickly oftentimes, because they recognise that life is a series of ups and downs and we just get to be with what is.

Top Tips:

  • Realise that all is as it should be.

  • There is no point worrying about something that has not happened, and if it has happened we can't change that either.

  • Future predicting is pointless, life has an ebb and flow, just be with it.

  • Know that if it is good there may be a fall apart round the corner.

  • Know that once you have fallen apart, the sun will shine again

  • Trust that you will be okay, you have survived other trials.

Be at one with the ebb and tide of life and trust that you are where you are meant to be at any given time and that there is always a clue in the experience we have of where we are going next.

Lots Love Hem xxxxXx


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