Take down your life destroying walls …(blog quickie)
Love & Care Series
I was thinking about the walls that we put around ourselves, when I came back from one of my daily walks this week, when is it healthy to have a wall around ourselves and when is the wall an unhealthy one? Or are all walls unhealthy?
So here I am contemplating out loud if there are times when we might need to have a wall around us. What I am gettting at here, is that sometimes we put up walls that stop us from letting people in and keep us isolated. At other times the wall that we create is healthy because it is linked to boundaries and not being taken advantage of, this wall keeps us safe.
The question is which type of wall do we function with most of the time? Boundary walls protect us they ensure that our needs are met and create a well of self love and care in our lives. Whereas the wall that I’m going to call our impenetrable wall is a wall that keeps us hidden from the world. Or, at least aspects of us.
I got to thinking about this because I have walls around myself. As I am healing, and working on myself and I teach self love, luckily my wall is the boundary wall most of the time. I’m human however, so I guess that there are times when I dip into putting up the Impenetrable wall too. We do this at times when we feel threatened or unsafe.
Maybe it happens for all of us, walls go up and they go down. I guess it's only a problem if the wall that we have put up, stops us from living a healthy and fulfilling life. Or if it never ever comes down, how are we meant to move forward? Forward movement relies on us not being trapped.
Of course one could argue that a boundary is not a wall. I tend to see it as protective wall, a strong wall that keeps me safe. I have also seen heard about it being likened to the walls of our home that protect us from outside. This protection enables me to retreat from the world at times and at other times enables me to shine like a star. Without boundaries, we fall because it means that other people can walk all over us.
In all fairness this has taken a great deal of work on my part and there was a time when the wall that I put around myself was 10 foot high and it was of the impenetrable variety, there was a big Stay Out, sign on it!!! This wall eventually came down because I was ready to trust, to live authentically and to just be 'Me'.
The boundary wall is a healthy wall it helps to ensure that I am functioning fully from my heart, accepting offers that I feel are relevant for me and refusing when I need to. Saying yes and no at the right time is a big one for me, maybe for all of us ... :)
The fact is, walls that we put around us, that keep people out are highly counter-productive, on every level. The impenetrable wall is linked to the ego, it wants us to play small, it stops us from expanding our life. It metes out criticism and stops us really hearing ourself in the noise of daily life.
The core component to expanding our lives is love.
Without love we struggle to create a healthy life. The impenetrable wall would have been created as a means of protection when we were children, when we were not able to make our own decisions about bed times, bath time etc. As we get older we can make decisions, therefore, this wall no longer has a function.
If it is still in place in our world it is time for each one of us to bring this wall down by learning to set clear and loving boundaries instead.
All the love to you all