How to accept your feelings - blog quickie ...
Whatever your present moment brings, accept it for what it is; be with it rather than resistant to it.
It happens to us all when we are in pain, or going through a tough time we forget that we can be in another emotion. We hunker down into the pain and become attached to it. Yet, at the same time we are annoyed with this feeling and we lament about it, wishing for happier times. The bottom line is that we are being resistant.
We ignore being because there is so much that we can be doing. There is nothing wrong with giving into being sick, or being angry, or being sad. It’s just a moment in time. It also has the ability to re-focus us, if we let it, because when we are experiencing extremes there is usually an epiphany of varying scales that follows.
When we accept the situation that we are in, we are more able to let it go and to move on with the next thing that we have to do. In fact being in the moment of what we are feeling is refreshing because it restores us and our energy.
This means giving in and accepting that being unwell will run its course, or the problems we are facing will soon be gone, or the situation that we are in will subside. If it can't subside we can create the acceptance that it is now part of our life. Rather than giving into a rollercoaster of emotions, that we let run our lives.
It’s great, it’s fun, it’s sad, I’m mad, I hate this, I’m leaving, I love this, I like this, I love you, I live, I breath, I fall apart, I come back together again.
It’s a cycle and being human means that we experience it all.
We just need to accept and give ourselves the time to know what the next step is. This creates the space for us to be able to see that part of the puzzle. We may not know what it is, but eventually one day we will see the design of it. We will see why we felt the way that we did.
I am forever asking myself, will this matter in a months time and the answer is often no. There are situations where the pain will last longer, yet even these feelings will flow away when we learn to accept them.
There is no point in being difficult with self over experience, unless that’s what you want; it is fine to sit in that too, if necessary. We can accept it or we can worry about it, we can be in it or ruminate over it. It is up to us. The main part is accepting that we are making the choice to feel the way we feel. It’s a difficult call sometimes to take this on board, I know.
Resistance places us on the path of more of the same. When we rest in the pain, anger, illness, rage, happiness and joy (joy is also an emotion that can create extremes) it will subside quicker. Now we can focus on neutrality. This is balance and it means that we are more able to function on all levels and through all emotions.
If we stay in the neutral mind more often, it makes it easier to recognise what we accept feeling and what we are going to let go.
Some tips on creating balance
There are a myriad of ways to be at one with your feelings and emotions, here are a few to get you started
Meditate – you can do action meditation if you don’t want to sit still – this means repetitive tasks – do the dishes, wash the car and absorb yourself in the task.
Being with your feelings (mindfulness) and letting them pass when ready.
Not expecting anything or analysing it
Keep what is happening in perspective. Your emotions will pass and turn into something different over time.
Accepting that you are experiencing what you are experiencing for a reason
Being fully present in your day
Loving that you are complete already
Allowing an emotion to dip in and out, rather than letting it grab you and feed on you.
Our present moment at any time is just like the tide, ebbing and flowing, then rising into a swell and calming down. When we get to know our emotions and responses we can create a better way to deal with these tides. It is our responses that create the rise and fall; when we learn to choose how we deal with them we may get closer to peace.
Go on let go of rollercoaster resistance by learning to accept your emotions, you know you're worth it.