The Magical Memory Conundrum - blog quickie...
She was wearing that lovely pink dress, - it was not pink it was blue… who cares blues, pinks lovely colours both!!!
There is no truth, there is only perception …
Perception is a strange one and it affects the way that we see the world. A handful of us may experience an event, however when the story of that day gets relayed there will be a handful of stories, not one. Each person will have put their personal spin on it because they see it through their own life lens, through their own filter.
The filter is not flawed if one person’s vision of the event is different to another persons, it just means that their view of the world is different. There is something akin to a fairytale in this or the beginnings of a Chinese whisper.
Welcome to the perception perspective. None of us are immune to this and it is something that can, if we let it, cause tension and upset. The perception perspective is the way that we see things and remember things. It also enacts our need to be right and put our point across*.
However, if we let it, it could be the start of a journey into wonderland that helps us to create new dimension and vision. By aligning the way we view an old family story for example mixed with the way our grandchild viewed it, we could create an interlink that will be transformational.
I was talking to my sister about a story from our childhood the other day and her view of what happened way back when, is so different to mine. There are even gaps in the family memory. Hmmm!!! One such gap was when my dad said you girls were not there with us at such and such an event; however my sister and I remember being there. It’s almost like something from a sci-fi movie…
Memory is a funny thing, there are events that the brain can remember that are completely out of alignment with the way that they actually were. Okay, let’s pause for a minute… A view of something can not be wrong, because it is attached to who the person is that is experiencing it. Lots of things such as culture, beliefs, ideals etc will affect the way that two people view the same event. It will even affect the way that they tell the story.
Of course the perception perspective can lead to the need to be right too. Or it can lead to confusion of what happened. Guess it’s also worth remembering that when it comes to perception the need to be right can be damaging, because there is no right or wrong. Everyone has the right to see an event the way that they want to see it …
Think of it in the way that you would a great fantasy story, there is something magical in the telling of a story, there is something beautiful in the fact that two people see the event in completely different ways. This can not detract from a story, in fact surely these different perspectives can add colour, flavour and movement to the relaying of it. Then it can capture that moment where one is taken away to the magical sense of the event. This magic is hiding in all that we do and all that we experience. There is alchemy everywhere, it is all around us, we just have to see it.
If we engage in storytelling, perception and opinions in this way it could help us to remember the dream that is storytelling, the gift that memory is and how lucky we are to have such an ability sitting within the very heart of us.
To the magic of our stories…
So remember that when your other half tells the story of how you met in a different way to you s/he has not forgotten, they have not got it wrong. No they are looking at it with the eyes of wonder, with love and with as much passion as you are. Our stories are a gift regardless of what perspective we view them from, they are there to lift us up when we are feeling down…
So remember folks the next time you're telling a story and someone says that’s not how it was, it’s just the other persons perception perspective dancing with yours.
Now isn’t that amazing?
Till next week, lots love
*the need to be right can cause arguments, wars, it can link to judgement etc. It is an important part of the perception perspective. However, it's not the message of this offering. I will come back to this topic at another time ... :)