Mind the Gap: If your response to stress is to freeze…

Mind the Gap: If your stress response is to freeze

I have been pursuing an independent career for a while now and in my bid to move forward I approached an organiser to be a contributor. I had already received a yes, so I e-mailed to firm up the details.

I was sooooo Excited ...

No response later, I realised that there was something wrong with my life ...

It was as clear as day – my life had a STOP sign over it.

‘What I yelled at the Universe…?? ’It yelled back quite passionately ‘A Stop Sign.’

I wanted to say, ‘I do not.’ However, I know that it is true! I know that for the past few years I have been living in this ridiculous STOP GAP. The gap is where I wait for something, anything to happen, just waiting, tapping my fingers, humming a tune…

It has been here for a long time and even though I was able to kick my last relationship to the kerb to deal with the STOP sign. I appear to have become even more embroiled in it than I was before. I am stuck in a sticky spider’s web. I am totally in the freeze response of the fight, flight, freeze stress response.

To put it mildly the STOP sign is everywhere, I am living it, I am breathing it. It is in everything that I don’t do, it is also in everything that I am attempting to do too. The STOP is affecting my whole life.

I wonder about it, ‘how can the stop sign be everywhere?’

I’m not really expecting to get an answer – yet, here is what I get, it would appear that the Universe is talking to me today.

The STOP SIGN is my own creation – I have been living my life waiting for others, waiting for their answer, waiting for someone to buy my house, waiting for an offer of help, waiting, waiting, waiting. Clearly it is my lesson in life, yet it’s a tough lesson when everywhere that you look all you see is STOP!!!!!!

My human angry me reaction just wants to scream STOP – yes I see the hilarity in that. As does the Universe *laughing quite hysterically* while telling me that it’s happy to oblige.

I have to take it on board they are right, I am stuck in some kind of stasis… Waiting for tomorrow… It’s like waiting for that train on a bad day when there is no chance that they are going to be putting a service on, it's infuriating. I am stuck in a mindset. Stuck in a remnant of people pleasing… In fact maybe I am also stuck in the feminine energy - sitting in space, waiting for ideas.

I feel that the STOP SIGN working both ways, is the Universe's sense of humour. Arghhhhhhhhh…..

In order to stop this, in order to board the train and not be waiting in the STOP GAP… ‘Yes, I know you are laughing, I’m hilarious!!!’

I have to STOP!!!

People pleasing – stop waiting for other people to say YES…

Yes I know while I keep waiting – I end up stuck – feeling as if life is passing me by, while I'm waiting patiently. Okay I concede stupidly, for something to happen. I guess the Universe is telling me to just make my plans step outside and get on with my life. Sounds simple right, well it would be if I hadn't gotten myself so tangled up in this being the new 'Me.'

I have to STOP – Putting off till tomorrow what I can do today…

Often, this is my mindset – Not to strike while the irons hot, just to stop, Stop, STOP!!!!!! I am always waiting for something. I was asked whether I am afraid that I will make a wrong choice? I pondered this and decided it’s this weird idea that one thing has to happen in my life at a time, honestly what is that? Luckily I am kicking that attitude to the kerb.

Let’s get things straight, there is no right time. There is only ever now, right now in this moment. Take the plunge and make it happen. There was a moment back in 2017 when I was on this train, I was busy getting on with my life making it happen. Which means that I know how to do it, plus no person should stay in stasis forever …

I have to STOP pretending that I don’t know what I have to do. It has become a habit recently for me to say that this STOP GAP is temporary and that change will come. Just wait, it will happen.

No, this is rubbish. Nothing is going to happen if I do not make it happen. There is no fairy god mother sitting up there going right, I will remove all the 1000’s of STOP SIGNS that you have dotted around your life, throughout the whole of your life.

I have to STOP Procrastinating

This one is tough for someone with perfectionism tendencies. We tend to procrastinate because we are looking for that perfect perfect. I want to start speaking, will I do it – No, of course not, I am waiting for my STOP SIGN to go green!! Trouble is it’s a billboard and there is no green!!!!

Perfect does not exist, while I'm waiting for everyone else, they are busy getting on with their own lives, while I inadvertently hold myself up and attract holder uppers into my life, I am stalled even more.

I have to REALISE

If I do not get up and do what I want to do, life will get on and pass me by! Why not? I am stuck in the STOP GAP, obeying a STOP SIGN that is never going to change. Crikey even the Universe has been saying LOOK !!! You can do what anyone else can do! Throw the STOP SIGN to the ground. You no longer need a SIGN to get you where you need to go. All that you need to do is take the STEPS! These steps, will help you to create the life that you want.

If you wait the opportunity will go to someone else, you will be left, stuck at the STOP sign – still tapping your fingers on the steering wheel wondering why all the other cars are passing you by.

They are passing you by because everyone is not living by your rules of what is right and wrong. They are not obeying illusory STOP SIGNS, while holding themselves back in STOP GAPs that they have no business being in. No they are flying, sailing, driving over the speed limit and just pushing to their destinations.

Even if they do not know their destinations they are pushing forward, making their way to the next STEP – SEEING the ROAD SIGNS that are showing them the direction that they need to go in.

Oh and remember self love, remember caring for yourself, being there for yourself. When you stay in the gap, this is forgetting LoVe, it is forgetting you.

Okay so I forgot for a moment or two, I am after human. Love is giving myself a break and realising that there will be times when all the progress will seem as if it never happened. I get it, sometimes I will forget, I will take steps back. Of course, it doesn't mean that I have forgotten, it just means that I need to take stock and pick up where i left off.

My Road Sign is a weird Sign??

Yes, it may seem counter intuitive for a ROAD SIGN to be pointing to destination FUN. Yet, if that is where you need to be, that is where you NEED to be. Go there, take the risk, FOLLOW the SIGN: Even if you have to do it on your own, go where your heart is directing you.

Put a STOP to the STOP SIGNS that are ruining your future, the Signs that are holding you back. No other is responsible for the PRISONS that we build, we are solely responsible for these. Yes, I have built this prison and therefore it is my duty to either remove the bars, or grab the key.

Guess it is time that I remove the barricades and start doing what I want to do. If waiting for another is stalling my life, it does not mean removing the other from my life. They can do what they want. As I can do what I want.

*I sigh*

It’s true there is no time like the present and I do not want to regret another time in my life or miss any more opportunities – I understand that there’s only a STOP SIGN there because I put it there, or because I let it remain there, or because I am happy to sit in the STOP GAP… My Bad!!

On Closer reflection

What if I am only seeing closed doors because they are a SIGN? A red light, and when I get a green light, I need to go in that direction. Right now I am not sure, I feel as if I am sailing on the sea with no map, no compass, no nothing and the angels are saying the answer is right in front of you…. LOOK SEE!!! Yep, it’s true, I feel blind. I feel as if there is nothing that I can do to remove the STOP SIGNS…

Oh but there is dear one, go where you want to go, when you go where you want to go the doors will open up for you and new opportunity will arise. Be ready to be amazed because the Universe has a gift.

(the angels telling me to stop being such a sook!)

The answer for us

Some doors are just not meant for us, keep stepping forward and move towards the open doors, these doors will take you where you need to be. It is only these doors that you need to be interested in. If people will not come with you to things that are going to help you to open your door, then go through these doors on your own. There is no time like the present for you to start taking your life back, put it solely into your own hands and let go of needing other people’s permission to get to where you need to be. Other people can only create limitation, when you let them – by creating this expansion for yourself you can truly, truly believe.

As for me

I am the only one that has the POWER to MOVE on … & That my dear friends is exactly what I am about to do … I will keep you posted