Why standing on your own two feet is your ticket to a better life...
We live in a world that works on definition, on telling us how we are. It can be tricky to stand on our own two feet when we are in the middle of this. From being told what you were like at school to judgements from our teachers, parents and our friends it can be pretty hard to create definition of our own.
It is easy to be defined by others without even realising that this is what is happening. Standing on your own two feet and living from your own values can be tough for those of us that have people pleaser tendencies and perfectionism tendencies. People pleasers are the nice people of the world, they always want to make other people smile and be kind. The only problem is that they tend to put themselves last.
In the end nobody wins when we are busy being the people pleaser and giving in to feelings that we need to be perfect.
In our teens it’s easy to go with the pull of what our friends think, want and desire. We want to be liked and to be one of the crowd. We may have heard messages that told us that we were not good from adults and people who we looked up to.
Don’t let what other people think of you define who you are… Ever.
I have been a culprit of this, letting people define me, telling me who I am. When I look back at who I used to be, it is a tough one, especially the realisation that what those other people wanted for me was not good for me. I was allowing other people’s expectations of me to colour the whole experience of my life.
It’s a difficult one to admit to, because the truth is, not one single one of us really wants to be this person. Yet conditioning and the values and systems that we grew up with get us caught up in tendencies that are not always good for us.
I believed that saying yes would keep the peace, other people would be happy. The truth is that this does not work, in fact it seemed to pull people towards me that were unhealthy for me and repel the people that I could have done with having in my life. With this in mind, it seems to me that getting this one sorted is a no brainer!!!
When we define our self by the rest of the world and what other people think of us, we fall flat on our faces in the pursuit of caring for ourselves. This lack of inner love, will slowly break us down. It does not matter when it will happen, one day when we are not looking the world will start crashing around us and our level of unrest will become deeper and deeper.
Eventually we will hit an impasse, a moment that shows us that we can not go on living the way that we have any longer.
Happiness is something that we create for our selves. Heaven and Hell is a place on earth, which place are you going to reside in the most, the choice is yours. Love comes from the core of who we are. You are the sole instigator of this and no one else.
The priority in all our lives, is getting to know self, loving self and caring about self. No other has any say in this… Once you get this one figured and in place, all of life starts to feel different, dare I say it, magical :)
In fact what other people think of you is none of your business and it does not reflect you in any way. Let them be with their opinions and get on with your wonderful, glorious life.
The truth it is easy to be a person that is being told who to be as opposed to being someone that you want to be, because it means that you do not have to take responsibility and it inadvertently activates a victim mentality and a drama queen complex.
Remember there is nothing selfish into loving yourself, because it means that you can add value to other people’s lives. It also means that you can add value to your own life. How can this be selfish? After all there is only one person in the whole world that you spend 365 days a year with, every year of your given life, and that is You.
You have the biggest impact in your life so bring value into your life. No other can do this for you, or has dominion over you. Yes, there will be tests there will be moments where you want to put the brush down and stop painting on your canvas. This is okay, so long as you are coming from your own value system and not letting anyone else define who you are.
All the love to you all.
Remember you are a brilliant, wonderful amazing soul and if you have not found this
part of you, take some time to activate your brilliance.