Is it time to let go? (blog quickie) ...
If you are anything like me, when a friendship hits it’s sell by date, you are reticent to let it go! It makes sense all the time invested in being together and creating the bond makes it heartbreaking, when you know that the time has come to say adieu.
Most of us tend to ignore when this happens, we sit on it for ages, telling ourselves, that it will be okay things will get better.
However the truth is that when a friendship hits it’s sell by date, it has done so, for a reason. It does not necessarily mean that you never have to see the person again. However it could mean that the time that you spend with the person could be affectively used somewhere else.
Maybe you have grown apart because your life has taken different directions, or they are not treating you or the relationship in the same way because they have been through change, it may even be that you have changed and sometimes a relationship can be threatened by change. You could have started moving in different circles, they have children and you don’t, the list of reasons is endless…
The bottom line, whatever it is, it just does not work in the way that it used to and you know it …
Whatever the reason, it can take guts to let go. However it is also imperative that you listen to the insistent feeling that your body it levelling at you about the friendship. Your inner messenger knows the truth and what you need. Being true to you means taking notice of this, and noting that it falls into deep care for self.
When you ignore this kind of feeling and message, you are not being caring or loving to yourself or to the other person.
So when you know that a friendship has hit it's sell by date, it's time to take decisive action.
Most of us just walk away and stop talking to the other person, we withdraw contact.
Now this probably isn’t the best method, although I have been a culprit of it myself at points in my life too.
To my mind and because I don’t normally go off my friends to the point that I never ever want to hear from them, or be in their life again, I am pretty happy with just dis-connecting for a time.
When you use this approach it The leaves the door open to re-start the friendship when times are different.
I say this because there are times when we need to say goodbye for a time. Maybe they are just not meant to be in this chapter of your book. It does not mean that they will not re-surface later in the story line. When we are able to accept this, it makes the whole process easier.
There is another method that people use when they are releasing a friendship and that is to tell them that it’s time for a break, or tell them out and out that they don't want to be in our life anymore.
Now I know there are people that do this, but I am not a big fan of this method because close friendships that you have nurtured for years, deserve more than that.
Even if you don’t talk to each other for 20 years, where’s the problem in re-igniting the spark at a later date. You never know, what you might bring into one another’s lives in the future.
Of course there is the chance that you may never speak to one another again, but that’s not a problem either because you will still be in one another's heart and the impact your friendship had will be with you for the whole of your lifetime.
Lastly, if the memory is not good, then let it go ... Just as you let go of the friendship.
This happened to me...
I remember a friend of mine said to me a while back, “sorry we haven’t called, it’s just there is no point, as when we get together, it’s boring.” I have to say, I loved his honesty and there was truth to it to.
An overwhelming obligation of having known each other for years and years, had us all thinking that we had to hook up regularly, when in fact, it was not productive or worth while.
So as it is and yes you have guessed it, I have not seen that couple for sometime. I still care about them and I would still talk to them, but they are right we shared no common ground. My life had gone in a completely different direction to theirs.
What we create when we release friendships that no longer serve us
A chance for something new...
Releasing someone when it's time can open new doors.
You might meet new people that are more on your wavelength.
Creates time to nurture new friendships.
You have more time for other pursuits.
You feel good because you honoured yourself and them by letting go.
A friendship is not always for life, sometimes it is just for a certain chapter of your life. If it comes back that's great and if not remember what you shared and continue to enjoy the brilliance that your life is...
The truth is that there are all kinds of friendships and where one door closes another one will surely open.
Love to you all